


Worlds' Finest

by DoctorpooandtheTURDIS



Series: The New Adventures of Doctor Who [2]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (1963), Doctor Who (2005), Halo (Video Games) & Related Fandoms, Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:47:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25454935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoctorpooandtheTURDIS/pseuds/DoctorpooandtheTURDIS
Summary: The Fourth of July is fast approaching in the town of Hawkins, Indiana, when a visitor from another world crashes in the small town.But probably not the one you're expecting.A crossover... between crossovers! So, you might want to catch up on 1287 if you're coming from the Doctor Who side of things, and vice versa.
Relationships: Cortana/John-117 | Master Chief
Series: The New Adventures of Doctor Who [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1840504
Comments: 13
Kudos: 12





	1. When Worlds Collide

John strode through the mall’s parking lot purposefully. The Fourth of July was coming up and, though he didn’t technically count himself as American, the three of them lived on American soil, and so, partly to keep cover intact, John found himself buying fireworks to prepare for the occasion.

Even though it was still two weeks in advance.

But, Cortana pressed upon the importance of buying in advance, and so here he was, walking up to a fireworks stand in the middle of the searing heat, waiting to get some overpriced sticks of gunpowder, that only served to be loud and obnoxious.

As he walked, someone bumped into John’s side.

“Careful, human.” The man snarled, walking past.

John stopped, whipping around. “What?”

“I said careful.” The man growled, turning back as he walked away.

John frowned. The man certainly looked ordinary enough… Perhaps he was imagining things.

John shook his head, turning back to the stand. If only the damn line would go any faster…

****

It was fast approaching sundown by the time John got back to the cabin. Taking a moment to store the fireworks somewhere safe, where they wouldn’t be ruined by the rain, John walked up the steps, and entered.

The moment the door opened, El, who was sitting at the table in front of the TV, looked up, beaming.

“Hey, John.” She shot to him, before going back to her drawing.

“Hello.” John returned, going to sit down behind her. “What are you up to?”

“Drawing…” El answered, filling in a series of lines on her sketchpad.

“And watching TV at the same time?” John questioned. He could understand if it were an art program, but the current one looked to be anything but.

El rolled her eyes, no venom behind the action. “I need a ref… ref-er-ance.”

“I see.” John replied. “Reference for what?”

“The Doctor.” El answered. “Clothes are easy, faces… not so much.”

“Right.” John agreed. “But what made you decide to sketch Doctor Who?”

“Um,” El held up a finger, “His name is ‘The Doctor-‘”

“Sydney Newman would disagree with you.”

“And he’s nice.” El finished. “His clothes are… rainbowy. The colors would look nice hanging on a wall.

“Is that why you stitched together that coat?” He questioned, seeing the article wrapped around her.

“…Maybe.” El sheepishly smiled. Suddenly, she looked like she remembered something. “Oh! Mama wanted to talk to you about something. Said it was about the baby.”

“Well, I’d better get to it then.” John resolved, pushing himself up. Leaving El to her own devices as she whistled in sync with the end credits theme tune, John went to the section of the cabin separated off for his and Cortana’s use.

Instantly, upon John pushing through the curtain, Cortana’s head shot up from the book she was reading.

“You have chocolate.” Cortana stated, practically glaring. “Give it.”

John sighed, reaching into his jacket pocket. “How did you know?” He asked, producing a Hershey’s bar.

“I can smell it.” Cortana answered, snatching it out of his hands. “It’s not subtle.”

“It’s in a wrapper.” John replied, as Cortana began to tear into the plastic wrapping with her teeth. “Are you sure you don’t want to put that in a freezer first?” He asked, dreading the mess that the half-melted candy was sure to make.

“Don’t care, want chocolate.” She shot back, taking a big chunk out of the candy. She sighed contentedly, and relaxed. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. El said you wanted to talk to me?”

“Right.” Cortana swallowed. “I’ve been thinking, it’s about time we make the first visit to the hospital. To get this checked out.”

John began to open his mouth.

“It’s a risk, I know,” Cortana cut him off. “But… I’d feel better, getting a licensed medical professional. Not one of those CIA spooks working for Owens, but a real, honest-to-God, Doctor.”

John kept quiet for a moment, before he nodded. “I’m sure we can work something out. Owens didn’t say we had to go to him every single time there was a problem.”

“Exactly!” Cortana agreed. “And we don’t even-“ She suddenly stopped. “…Do you hear that?”

John frowned for a moment, before his hearing registered what she was talking about. A distant wheezing, like a key scraping against piano wire, appeared to be getting louder and louder, crescendoing in a loud bang, as something crashed outside that rocked the cabin like an earthquake.

“Ah!” Cortana yelped as the shockwaves hit and quickly died down. “What the hell was that!?”

“I don’t know.” John answered, going to procure his pistol. “But I’ll find out. Stay here.” He ordered, moving through the cabin.

El sat at the table, looking around in disoriented shock, as her eyes met John’s. John affixed her with a nod, silently commanding her to stay there, as he walked outside. Behind him, he could register El and Cortana moving to look out the window, as he surveyed the area.

John raised his pistol, activating the flashlight, as he looked for the source of the disturbance. It didn’t take him even a moment, as John stopped in his tracks.

A big blue wooden box marked ‘Police’ sat on its side on top of the car.

“No… way…” El breathed, staring out the window.

“Hello?” John approached cautiously. “This is Sierra-117, United Nations Space Command. Identify yourself.” He commanded.

As if in response to his question, the two doors on the top swung outwards, as a man in with floppy hair, wearing a bow tie, popped his head out like a gopher.

“Oh, hello!” The man greeted, nonplussed that a gun was being pointed at him. “You’re a big fellow, aren’t you… I’m the Doctor!”

El squeed from inside the cabin


	2. On the Subject of Favorite TV Shows

The Doctor looked around the area as he grasped onto the bottom edge of the TARDIS. “Well, is no one going to invite me in, offer me a cup of tea? I’m bored, bring me knitting.”

“You crashed onto my property.” John narrowed his eyes, keeping his pistol trained on the Time Lord. “How do I know you’re not a threat to my family.”

“John!” El called, running out.

“El, stop!” Cortana tried to pursue, falling behind slightly due to her obvious condition.

“John, wait…” El huffed, pointing with a smile at the TARDIS. “That’s him… The Doctor.”

“Hello!” The Doctor wiggled his fingers. “Wait a minute… Millie!” The Doctor beamed. “I haven’t seen you since, God… Since that business with the Wire on YouTube, how’ve you been?”

El tilted her head in confusion. “Who’s Millie? …And what’s a ‘Me Tube?’”

“No, no, hold on.” The Doctor held up a hand. He sniffed the air. “Hmm, all that hairspray… I’m in the nineteen-eighties. Ah, one of my favorite decades. Well actually, it’s two decades crammed into one. See, there was this-”

“Doctor!” A voice shouted from deeper inside the TARDIS. “Any time, now!”

The Doctor flinched. “Right. Sorry River!” He called back into the TARDIS, as he turned to the people outside. “Right, I’m sure you have a lot of questions. Tell you what, help me and my friends out here, and I’ll answer them.”

John looked to El inquisitively. Whoever the man was… El seemed to trust him. El nodded vehemently, and John put away his pistol, climbing on top of the crushed wreckage of the car to help the Doctor out.

“Whew.” The Doctor puffed as he hit the ground. “Strapping fella aren’t you?”

“I keep in shape.” John replied, as River climbed up next.

The moment River’s boots hit the ground, she strode over to the Doctor, slapping him right across the face.

“Ow!” The Doctor shouted, clutching his face. “What was that for!?” He demanded, as John helped Susan out last.

“That-“ River poked the Doctor in the chest. “Was for flying is into the middle of a Vortex Wave! You’re lucky we weren’t ripped apart!”

“Oh, relax, I knew what I was doing.” The Doctor replied. Not a moment later, a puff of smoke came from the TARDIS. “Mostly. Now, how are we going to get her upright…” The Doctor wondered, staring at the blue box.

El, wanting to be of help, reached out her hand, and the TARDIS began to float up, off the car’s flattened remains, settling down upright a few feet away.

“Oh, that is beautiful!” The Doctor commented upon seeing the TARDIS, turning back to El. “That was you, wasn’t it Eleven?”

El took in a shocked, almost flattered breath. “You know me?”

“Of course I do.” The Doctor replied. “I’m an Eleven myself… Right!” He clapped his hands. “Why don’t we get inside?” He suggested, looking up. “Looks like it’s about to rain.”

John and Cortana glanced at each other.

**_****_ **

“Ah…” The Doctor sighed, as he put the teacup back down on the table. “Haven’t met an American who knows how to make proper tea. Thank you.”

“Well, I’m not American.” Cortana crossed her arms. “Just be glad it wasn’t him who made it.” She crooked her head over to John. “You probably would’ve ended up with protein powder in yours, if that was the case.”

John shook his head, but didn’t deny it further than that. “So, you said you’d explain.”

“No.” The Doctor smiled, taking another sip.

“No?” John repeated, his eyes narrowing slightly.

“I didn’t say I’d explain,” The Doctor explained, “I said I’d answer your questions.”

“Is he usually like this?” Cortana questioned, turning to the other two women.

“No,” Susan shook her head, “He’s usually worse.”

“So,” John leaned on the table, “Who are you?”

“He’s the Doctor,” El butted in excitedly, “He’s a time traveler from another planet who can go anywhere and anywhen and he fights monsters and-“

“Blimey…” The Doctor mumbled. “She’s got the gift of gab, this one.” The Doctor sat down his tea, and stood up. “Well, she’s mostly right. I’m the Doctor, these are my traveling compatriots Susan and River.” He gestured to each one respectively, while keeping his eyes curiously trained on El. “But how did you know who I am?” He asked, bending down to her height.

“I watch you.” El answered simply.

“Really...?” The Doctor repeated quietly. “And how do you watch me?”

El rolled her eyes, and grabbed onto his hand, leading him over to the television set. She hit play on the VCR, and made sure the Doctor was watching.

“Oh… ‘Doctor Who.’” The Doctor quoted. “’The Twin Dilemma.’ Hey… I remember this one!” He shouted in surprise as the screen showed off a man who looked exactly like his sixth incarnation dealing with the twins Romulus and Remus.

“How?” John suspiciously questioned, as he looked at the screen. “You’re not in it.”

“Yeah, I am!” The Doctor pointed at the rainbow-coat wearing man.

John’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“He changes his face.” El explained to him. “The one before this one,” She gestured at the Doctor on the television, “Was played by Peter Davison.”

“Oh, good old Pete!” The Doctor suddenly remembered fondly. “Great guy… Saved him from a Krynoid… And picked up the slack for him on ‘All Creatures.’”

Cortana, out of sight from the Doctor, made a screwy gesture with her finger.

“But how do you know us?” John humorlessly questioned, staring down the Doctor.

“Oh, I have no idea who you two are.” He pointed to John and Cortana. “I only know young miss El here.” He smiled at her. “Her work’s become quite famous where I’m from.”

El looked giddy. “What am I? An artist? Writer? Monster hunter?”

“Well, I say work. You’re one of the most popular characters in one of the most popular television programs of all time!” The Doctor answered, gesturing around theatrically. “Well… technically it’s an ensemble cast.” He leaned in conspiratorially. “I only started watching because I owed Winona a favor, but…” He sheepishly smiled.

“You expect us to believe that, really?” Cortana questioned.

“Why not?” The Doctor suggested. “I have the receipts to prove it. Well, I say receipts, more like blu-rays.” He examined El up and down for a moment. “Hm… I might stay away from anything past season 3 if I were you, though… Then again, you’re supposed to have been taken in by the Police Chief, so maybe it’s alright.”

“Hopper?” Cortana questioned, dripping with sarcasm. She shook her head. “Out of all the things, I think that is the least believable.”

“Well, from my point of view, it makes perfect sense.” The Doctor replied, as he moved around John and Cortana. “But this doesn’t… Who are you two? I recognize her, and this cabin, But not you… Why?”

“Doctor.” River called his attention, over to the closet where she was standing.

“Hey, don’t be rooting through other people’s closets!” Cortana chastised, as the Doctor ran over.

“Oh.” The Doctor inhaled, recognizing the suit on the ground. “You’re the Master Chief!” He beamed, turning around, running up to shake John’s hand excitedly. “And you’re his AI!” He turned just as eagerly to Cortana. “I knew I recognized those voices from somewhere! You’re the Halo people!” The Doctor grinned. “I mean, I’m not much for violent video games, but the books are some of my favorites! And the cutscenes… Oh, when I got to 4, I cried…”

Cortana and John looked at each other for a moment, before turning back to the Doctor. “Video games? And… Books?” John questioned.

“Oh, love ‘em!” The Doctor nodded. “I mean, I had nightmares about the Flood for a good week! Do you know how hard it is for someone like me to get nightmares from books and the like? Not very easy.”

“Wait…” El approached shyly. “You’re saying I’m like you?”

“If you mean you’re part of a television programme with thousands of adoring fans…” The Doctor grinned. “Absolutely!”

El looked like she was about ready to explode.


	3. Bombs Bursting In Air

“Well, my friends.” The Doctor looked at his watch and clapped his hands. “It’s been lovely, talking pop culture, but we really should be going.” The Doctor smiled, cocking his head towards the TARDIS outside. “The TARDIS doesn’t like being exposed to different realities for too long. It’s bad for her health. Like a man with a heart condition drinking a cup of straight bacon grease.” He turned to Susan and River. “Come on.” He directed, as he began to exit.

“Wait!” El took off after them. “You… can’t go.”

“El, wait!” Cortana and John followed

The Doctor looked down at her as he continued moving. “You know me. People to visit, planets to save. Busy life, you know.”

El began to frown. “But-“

A sudden explosion occurred in the distance, as the leaves on the trees were blasted back, a shockwave tearing through the area.

“What the… _hell_ was that!?” Cortana demanded, looking up into the sky.

“A bomb…” The Doctor inhaled in trepidation. “If I didn’t know better, that sounded like a ton of TNT going up!” He turned to Susan and River. “Come on!” He grabbed onto both their hands, pulling them along as he charged off in the direction of the explosion.

El inhaled, a giddy look in her face at the prospect of being in an actual adventure with the Doctor. “Wait for me!” She said, charging off after them.

“El!” John took off after her.

“Oh, God damnit!” Cortana huffed, trying to keep up.

**_****_ **

“It came from over here!” Susan pointed, as they darted in between the trees.

The three at the lead came out of the trees first, emerging into a large clearing in the forest. On one side, parked at the edge of a dirt road, was a car. Plumes of fire ate away at the ground, threatening to spread out.

“Doctor, look!” River pointed towards the center of the clearing. “A body!”

The Doctor’s head instantly shot into that direction, seeing a half-charred body laying on the ground. Immediately, he reached into his larger coat pockets, pulling out a fire extinguisher.

“Don’t want to be caught in the middle of a forest fire!” He said, passing it off to El unconsciously, still not registering she was present, before running over to the body.

The Doctor fell onto his knees next to the body, as he began to look it over with the sonic screwdriver.

“Oh my god!” Cortana breathed, as they finally caught up to the rest of them. “What the hell happened here!?”

“It looks like a bomb went off.”

“Shh!” The Doctor directed to them. “I’m working here… Male, nineteen years old… He got too close to the explosion; the shockwave pulverized his insides.” The Doctor sighed, stowing his screwdriver. “Do you know him?” He asked of the three natives.

“No.” John admitted.

El shrugged, and Cortana shook her head.

“Does he have his wallet on him?” River questioned, beginning to rifle through the teen’s pockets.

The Doctor grabbed onto her hand, stopping her, as he affixed her with a reproachful look. “This man is dead, and you’re _looting_?”

“No,” River angrily snatched her arm away, affronted, “Wallets have IDs in them.” She stated, as she grasped onto something. “Aha.” She said, pulling the wallet out, and flicking it open. “Tommy Hagan… Do either of you know him?”

“He was… One of Steve’s friends.” El piped up. “Before…”

“Before that mess went down in ’83.” Cortana finished.

“I’m sorry.” The Doctor apologized.

“We didn’t know him.” John replied.

“Still… It means there’re parents out there whose son won’t be coming home.” The Doctor reflected sadly.

“Poor kid…” Cortana looked down sadly. “Came out here to get drunk and have a good time, and his own fireworks exploded in his face.”

“What even did this?” Susan wondered, looking around.

“If I had to guess,” The Doctor pushed himself up angrily, “That.” He pointed furiously at a firework tube sitting upright on the ground.

“But…” El confusedly began. “It’s just a firework. They shoot up, and explode.”

“Normally, yes, but something’s been done to this one.” The Doctor picked up the tube, examining the empty cardboard. His eyes narrowed, and he stuck a finger inside, pulling it out with the tip blackened. “Gunpowder residue.” The Doctor quickly licked off the substance, unpleasantly twisting once it his tongue. “Blech!” The Doctor gagged.

John looked down at El. “Is that normal?”

“I’ve never seen him do it.” El whispered back. “This new Doctor is… weird.”

“AH!” The Doctor shouted in epiphany. “Yes, that’s it! Slight chemical changes, but it’s there!”

“What is it?” River questioned, looking at the Doctor like he was insane… because he probably was.

“This isn’t normal gunpowder! Well,” He quickly amended, “It is normal gunpowder, but there’s something else…”

“They mixed explosives in with fireworks?” Susan questioned.

“No!” The Doctor quickly replied. “Not in with the gunpowder, smell it in the air.” The Doctor ordered, sniffing. “That slight metallic tang… A Cortilloch Signal!”

“A…” Cortana began, tilting her head. “What signal?”

“A sort of relative to the Cordolaine Signal.” The Doctor offered up, though that really didn’t explain much. “It ever-so-slightly excites the molecules in gunpowder, increasing its power.” The Doctor explained. “It’s usually used to make bullets explode in a gun’s barrel, not on fireworks… But why?” The Doctor wondered.

Cortana sharply inhaled. “Independence Day…”

River turned to Cortana. “July 4th?”

“No, the movie with Will Smith,” Cortana sarcastically shot back. “Yes, July 4th!”

“Everybody’s stocking up on fireworks…” The Doctor began fearfully, staring ahead. “They’ll be bringing military-grade explosives into their houses with no idea!”

“More than that…” John stated, just as gravely, turning to the Time Lord. “There’s going to be a festival. With a fireworks display.”

The Doctor looked like he was about to panic. “How big of a display!?” He demanded, grabbing onto the SPARTAN.

“Biggest this town’s ever held.” Cortana answered for John.

The Doctor broke eye contact, looking into the distance fearfully. “And that fireworks display becomes a bomb powerful enough to wipe this town of the face of the Earth…”


	4. The Heist of the Century

“Come on, come on!” The Doctor yelled to the others trailing behind. All three of them were sprinting back towards the direction of the cabin, and more specifically, the TARDIS.

“A bomb, it had to be a bomb!” Cortana groaned, “Just when things were winding down, too.”

“Oh, it gets worse!” The Doctor cryptically replied as they all ducked and darted between the trees. “A Cortilloch Signal is technology far beyond this time or place. That means only one thing!”

“Aliens.” Susan finished gravely, as the small cabin in the distance began to grow with their approach.

“Aliens!?” El repeated.

“What kind of aliens are we talking?” John calmly questioned, even as he struggled to keep pace with the Doctor. “Elites? Brutes? Prophets?”

“No!” The Doctor instantly shot down, as they emerged near the cabin. “Could be anyone.” He came to a grinding halt outside the TARDIS, unlocking the doors. “Right, everyone, in, in, in!”

“What, in there?” Cortana questioned incredulously, pointing at the TARDIS.

“It’s bigger than it looks.” The Doctor replied.

El, pushing her way to the front, looked at the TARDIS excitedly, before charging inside, River and Susan following behind, and the Doctor trailing behind them, as he ran over to the console.

“Impossible.” John remarked, looking at the interior, before walking around the outside.

“No…” Cortana stepped back. “This can’t-“

“Come _on!”_ The Doctor hopped up and down near the console impatiently.

John and Cortana looked at each other for a moment, before sharing a nod, and proceeding inside.

“God…” Cortana breathed, looking around. “It’s…”

“Bigger on the inside!” El finished for her, if it were even possible, looking even more giddy. She ran up the stairs onto the upper level, looking around at the contents on the bookshelves, the knick-knacks scattered about the small tables, and even the recliner.

The moment John crossed the inner threshold fully, the Doctor snapped his fingers, and the doors slammed shut, as the Doctor rushed into action.

“Welcome aboard the TARDIS!” The Doctor stated, running around the control console. Frantically throwing a set of levers, the Doctor didn’t seem to be winded at all as he continued. “Time And Relative Dimensions In Space. Though I’m sure young miss El knew that already…” He winked at the girl, who was looking around the console room with pure awe on her face. “So, here’s the deal!” He turned back to the console, bathing his face in an orange glow. “July 4th is only in a couple of days, there’s a giant fireworks display that’s going to become a bomb strong enough to level this whole town, and if Tommy Hagan was any indication, there are a lot more littler fireworks ready to blow up in everybody’s faces as well.”

“So…” Cortana gesticulated frustratedly. “What do we do!?”

“We get those fireworks out off the streets!” The Doctor answered. “Right, do either of you know the police station’s phone number?”

John nodded immediately.

“Then put it in here.” The Doctor instructed, gesturing down at a small, square keyboard on the control console.

John looked down at the unfamiliar metals and technology for only a moment, before doing as he was instructed.

“Right, now…” The Doctor pulled the phone out of its slot on the console, handing it over to John. “Get him to get those firework stands to stop selling. Make up whatever, it doesn’t matter, just make sure people can’t buy more than they already have. Oh, and…” The Time Lord smiled dangerously, a twinkle in his eye. “Hold on.” Not even a second after those words left his lips, the Doctor pushed forward the bronze throttle on the console, and the TARDIS set into motion, shaking as the lights around the roof of the console room and the edges of the upper level pulsed in tandem with the engines.

“Where are we going?” El asked curiously, looking back down towards the console.

"To launch a heist!" The Doctor excitedly replied, throwing a lever on the console.

"A heist?" El repeated, unsure of the word.

The Doctor back at her. “You ever hear of Santa Claus?”

El nodded. "He gives things to good people."

“Well, let’s just say we’re going to pull a sort of reverse Santa.”

****

All across the town of Hawkins, in the span of about half an hour, it happened.

A blue box, which didn’t belong in the town or even the country, began to appear and disappear on every single street, with no indication of how it arrived there.

All the way from the Byers household, all the way out to upper-class houses in the richer neighborhoods, the box appeared, the doors opened with six people coming out, breaking into houses like they were on a mission, and stealing the fireworks.

No valuables were taken, no important documents were stolen, and no damage to the houses were otherwise incurred. The only thing that happened was a person entering, making off with the fireworks before they could be noticed, and if the house didn’t have any of the colorful explosives, just running back outside and vanishing just as mysteriously as they had appeared.

Despite the fact that no valuables were absconded with, and nothing else was otherwise damaged, it was one of the single greatest robberies in human history. An entire town, every last person, robbed of their precious fireworks.

****

“Oh…” The Doctor nervously jittered, as he sat down the last box down next to the TARDIS console as if a slight jostle could set it off. “Whew.” He let out a relieved sigh.

“That. Was. Awesome!” El said.

Cortana agreed with a slight nod and smile. “This is the kind of stuff that goes down in history. The Great Fourth of July Heist… Should we be thinking about movie rights?”

“You may want to hold off on that.” The Doctor recommended, as he began fiddling with the console once more. “’Cause the way it’s looking, it’ll be War of the Worlds, not Ocean’s Eleven.”

“Yeah?” El looked up, having lost herself in the big stack of pyrotechnics.

“So, what now?” John inquired, looking towards the Doctor.

“Well, we’ve got the fireworks taken care of, but the Cortilloch Signal’s still active.” The Doctor explained, punching a series of commands into the console. “We’ll need to shut it down, or any new fireworks brought in will be just as bad.”

“Right.” River leaned against the railing. “But how do we find where the signal’s coming from?”

“Think of radiation.” The Doctor outlined. “It’s nothing like that, but if it helps, think of that. Any gunpowder closer to the signal’s source will be slightly stronger than the ones farther out.”

“Don’t tell me we’re going to solve the problem of fireworks blowing up by blowing fireworks up.” Cortana shook her head.

The Doctor remained silent, as he walked around the console.

“Well?” Cortana prompted.

“You…” The Doctor looked up at her in confusion. “Told me not to tell you.”


	5. How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

“Um…” El looked towards the fireworks in the distance warily. “We’re not gonna blow up like Tommy… are we?”

The six were assembled in one of the TARDIS’s many gardens. Hell, to call it a garden was a vast understatement. It looked more like someone had taken a national park, walled it around at its borders, and shoved it inside the TARDIS.

A vast blue artificial sky, set to daylight, loomed overhead, as John sat down the last of the fireworks, and moved to join the others.

“No!” The Doctor quickly denied in response to El’s question. “He had no idea what sort of danger he was in, he couldn’t prepare for it. We can… Extrapolator shielding!” He replied, passing off a strange, surfboard-sized device that had a screen and a keypad set into it off to River.

“Oh, hand me the heavy one, why don’t you?” River grumbled, shaking her head. “I hate you.”

“No you don’t.” The Doctor shot back, passing a different device off to Susan. “This’ll measure the explosive power of the gunpowder in the fireworks… When the number flashes on screen, call it out, and we’ll write it down. Now you,” The Doctor turned to El, “Have a very important job.”

“Ready!” El enthusiastically nodded.

“That’s what I like to hear!” The Doctor smiled, high fiving the girl. He reached into his coat and pulled out a notepad and pencil. “I’ll point to a firework, you move it out there,” He pointed. “Then, I’ll give you an address, and after the firework explodes, Susan will give you a number, you write them next to each other, like so.” The Doctor demonstrated. “Got it? Easy.”

“Easy.” El parroted, pulling the pad and pencil out of his hands.

“And as for you two,” The Doctor’s hand shot out to one of the dials on the walls, twisting it to the right. Overhead, in synchronization with the movements of the Doctor’s hand, the sun’s slow movement rapidly sped up, until it set entirely, plunging the garden into night.

“Enjoy the show.” The Doctor ordered, turning back to the others. “Ready?”

“Ready!” El echoed.

“Standing by, grandfather.” Susan answered.

“Oh, just get on with it!” River ordered, as she struggled to hold up the extrapolator.

The Doctor grinned, reaching into his coat pockets. Pulling out a pair of Ray-Bans, the Doctor flicked the shades open, and affixed them to his face. “Let’s make some noise.”

“…”

“…You do know it’s dark, right?”

“…Shut up.”

****

“Right!” The Doctor began, sitting down the completed notepad next to the map set into the console. “Let’s see…” He bit his bottom lip, punching in the values into the map. A few minutes later, every house in Hawkins was overlaid with a red number, showing the explosive strength of the modified gunpowder.

“Bingo!” The Doctor shouted in satisfaction. “The source of the field is here.” The Doctor pointed, at a plus-shaped building on the map.

El inhaled sharply, staring at the building on the map.

“Hawkins Lab.” John frowned.

“But, Hopper keeps an eye on that place.” Cortana’s eyebrows furrowed. “If somebody moved into it, he’d say something.”

“Not if he didn’t notice.” The Doctor picked up for the rest of them. The Time Lord pulled one of the rectangular screens over and pointed at the center of a small grey outline. “Look.”

El frowned, peering at the screen. “What is that?”

“It’s a spacecraft.” The Doctor answered, moving back to fiddle with the controls. “Oh, clever… It’s using the residual energy from the rift below the lab to power its cloaking device, but there’s something else…” The Doctor put his ear against the console as he twisted the dials on the panel. The Doctor frowned in concern. “The rift’s active… Ah, well, fortunately enough for us, the shields are down.”

“Meaning…” El tilted her head.

“We can get aboard, easy-peasy!” The Doctor snapped his fingers and threw the lever.

**_**DW**_ **

Far above Hawkins Lab, in the cargo hold of an alien spaceship, two slightly pudgy humans were moving boxes across the hold, ready to send out the next shipment of fireworks to the ground below.

Needless to say, these were not humans.

One of the aliens, in the guise of a man, chuckled to himself. “I still can’t believe these backwater yokels. Celebrating the end of a war with explosives… I bet their veterans love it.”

“Oh…” The other alien, in the skin of a woman, let out a contented sigh. “And this isn’t the only holiday these apes celebrate… Christmas, Black Friday, Guy Fawkes Night…” She smiled, a most greedy smile, as she considered all the possibilities. “I can’t say there’s much I admire about these creatures… but their obsession with capitalism is one.”

“Quite…” The man agreed, smiling as well. “We could live here as royalty…”

“Now, now, my dear brother.” The woman directed to the man. “We can’t forget why we came here.”

“Right…” The man nodded. “Right…” He frowned, as a faint breeze began to kick up inside the hold. “Did you leave the fans on?”

“Me? Why would you assume it was me?” The woman questioned in response.

“Well, that noise is rather obnoxiously like the fans, don’t you think?” The man replied, as a light in the bay began to pulse. “And has the light gone on the blink?”

“No, but it does sound… rather familiar.” The woman admitted. “In fact, it sounds like…”

Both of them whipped over to the source of the light, faces twisting in anger as a Police Box began to materialize at the end of the hold, the light glowing steadily as the engines settled in the hold.

The door creaked open, and the Doctor poked his head out, smiling disarmingly. “Ah, hello!” The Time Lord greeted, stepping out of the TARDIS, followed by the rest of the group. “Hello, hello! Blimey, that’s a lot of fireworks.” The Doctor looked at the boxes scattered around the hold. “Got yourself a little business going, up here?”

“Doctor!” The woman snarled.

“Oh, so you know who I am!” The Doctor smiled delightedly, “But I have to be frank, I have no idea who you lot are. Bit rude, not to introduce yourselves, don’t you think?”

The man and woman looked at each other slowly, before turning back to the Doctor, their hands moved up to their foreheads, pushing aside parts of their hair that concealed a zipper. As the people began to pull the zippers across their foreheads, a blue, crackling light filled the cargo bay as an electric hum reverberated through the floor, and the Doctor’s face became serious.

“Good God…” Cortana breathed, stepping back in fear.

With the zippers fully undone, the two’s eyes closed, as they pulled down their own faces, allowing long, green heads with big, beady black eyes to emerge from both. Long, thick green arms with clawed, three-fingered hands sprung out, pushing the skin away, as the creatures fully stepped out, towering at nine-feet tall over the other humanoids in the bay.

“Ah.” The Doctor looked upon the two aliens seriously. “The family Slitheen, I presume?”

“Korv Fel-Fotch Pasameer-Day Slitheen.” The male growled.

“Breem Fel-Fotch Pasameer-Day Slitheen.” The female bowed her head. “Pleased to make your acquaintance.”

“What…” El stuttered, looking on the towering aliens uncertainly. “What are they?”

Breem huffed. “The insolence! ‘What.’ Like we are not beings in our own right!”

“They’re a crime family.” The Doctor answered, ignoring Breem’s remark, even as he stared the aliens down.

“We prefer the term… ‘Extralegal Entrepreneurs.’” Korv rumbled abrasively.

The Doctor snorted. “They bribed their way to the top of their home planet’s government… then absolutely made a hash of the economy. They were tried and found guilty in absentia-“

“If you can call that witch hunt a trial!” Breem snarled.

“And sentenced to execution.” The Doctor continued, undeterred. “But, a lot of them managed to escape, and are now terrorizing the rest of the galaxy.”

“You call it, terrorizing, we call it, business.” Korv growled.

“Right, business.” The Doctor clasped his hands behind his back. “But really, modifying fireworks to level a small town nobody’s heard of?” He questioned. “Hardly seems profitable.”

“Oh, but it is, Doctor.” Breem corrected. “There is a, shall we say, _third party_ who has a vested interest in this planet. It has… contracted us to put the inhabitants of the town below out of the way.”

“…The Mind Flayer.” The Doctor guessed.

“The what?” John questioned.

“You don’t call it that?” The Doctor asked the SPARTAN confusedly. “Huh, weird.” He quickly turned back to the two Slitheen. “So, you destroy the town, the big bad Shadow Monster comes through without anyone able to stop it, and you get paid. But, and correct me if I’m wrong,” The Doctor gestured with his hand towards the aliens, “But it doesn’t seem like the sort of being to write checks.”

“Oh, no…” Breem agreed. “But it has given us exclusive rights to the materials left over on this planet.”

“Exclusive rights?” John questioned. “To what?”

Korv laughed. “To the biggest firecrackers this planet has produced… as well the minerals within this planet, of course.”

The Doctor’s eyes widened. “Oh, of course!” He slapped himself in the head. “This is the height of the Cold War!” The Doctor gestured out wildly. “Two nations with hundreds, maybe even thousands, of nuclear weapons, pointed at each other, ready to fire!”

“Bombs?” River questioned. “But that doesn’t make sense. Even the most powerful nuclear devices produced in this time wouldn’t be able to contend with a ship.”

“No,” The Doctor granted, “But think about it. What makes those weapons possible?”

“…Uranium.” Cortana guessed.

“Right,” The Doctor snapped his fingers in her direction. “And an entire planet’s worth of uranium… Well, there’d be enough.”

“Enough for what?” Susan questioned, trying to keep the conversation moving.

“Enough for us to supply the galaxy.” Breem threw out her arms. “There is a fuel crisis, Doctor. Earth, as well as the rest of this star system, shall become the headquarters for the biggest suppliers of starship fuel in the galaxy… And we, shall be its founders.” Her arms fell, as she snarled at the Doctor. “And there is nothing you can do to stop us.”

“Then that’s all I needed to hear.” The Doctor reached into his coat pocket, pulling out his sonic screwdriver.

“A sonic probe?” Korv laughed, incredulous.

“That’s screwdriver!” The Doctor corrected, suddenly, he looked away. “You know, we’re here in the cargo bay of your ship, surrounded by the same fireworks you’re peddling to the people down there, trying to get them to blow themselves up.”

Breem growled. “And so?”

“You know what that’s _not_?” The Doctor rhetorically asked, turning back to them. He suddenly let out a predatory grin, as he held up the screwdriver.

“A coincidence.”

He pressed down the button, and the fireworks began to sizzle.


	6. A Rebirth In Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor deals with the Slitheen threat... and one of the six dies.

“You moron!” Breem roared as the fuses on the fireworks began to light, raising a device on her wrist to retard the reaction. “You’ll kill yourself too!”

“To save the Earth?” The Doctor shot back. “That’s a price everyone behind me is willing to pay.”

Breem snarled, as she pushed her brother forward. “Kill them! Kill them!” She ordered, running off into the front of the ship.

Korv crouched low, almost like a snake coiled up to strike, before leaping forward.

Instantly, the Doctor shot out of the way, pulling El out of the flying Raxacoricofallapatorian’s way. Korv slammed into the TARDIS, falling to the ground, as the smaller beings behind him quickly shot up.

The ship shook as it suddenly launched into motion, throwing everyone in the hold off-balance.

Korv got back onto his titanic feet, and roared, prepared to charge again, before John jumped onto the alien’s back. The SPARTAN didn’t have any weapons, and Korv’s body was too hardy for him to break the alien’s neck, or choke him out, so the priority at that point simply became keeping the alien away from the others.

“She’s going to try to dump the cargo!” River shouted, over the roar of the alien craft’s engines.

“The door controls are in the cockpit!” Susan, who was looking over every wall for a control panel, reported. “I can’t seal it from here.”

El looked up, to the hydraulic pistons on the ceiling, which no doubt controlled the movements of the cargo bay’s doors on both sides.

“…I have an idea!” El suddenly shouted, pointing to the metal bars.

The Doctor’s head shot up to, and he broke out into a grin when he realized what she was getting at.

“Brilliant thinking!” The Doctor complimented. “We’ll keep him distracted, you focus on those!” The Time Lord ordered, pulling out his sonic screwdriver. “Hey, moneybags!” The Doctor yelled at Korv, waving around the screwdriver like a flare. “Over here!” The Time Lord taunted, putting some distance between him and El.

El, trying to keep focused over the sounds of combat, narrowed her eyes at the metal rod overhead. The girl tightened her hand, feeling a slight bit of resistance push back at her, before the rod suddenly snapped with a horrible screech, as its connection to the door was broken.

Korv, to his credit, noticed the act immediately, and his giant, predatory eyes locked onto El, as the two sideways eyelids narrowed. The Slitheen bucked, throwing the SPARTAN off his back, as he began to charge.

During this, El didn’t notice, keeping her gaze trained on the other piston.

“El!” Cortana screamed, causing the girl’s focus to break.

El’s gaze immediately fell off the ceiling, and her eyes met the alien’s, as he charged too rapidly for her to refocus on him.

Korv drew back a massive clawed fist, and plunged it forward.

A sickening crunch echoed throughout the place, as blood dripped to the floor…

But it wasn’t El’s.

“…Susan!” The Doctor howled in anguish, his granddaughter having put herself between El and the clawed alien.

Korv, momentarily confused by the young Time Lady’s appearance out of nowhere, was tackled to the floor by John, removing his claws in the process, and exposing the wounds in Susan’s chest to the open air.

El, frozen, looked on in horror as the Doctor’s granddaughter dropped to the floor.

“The door!” River pointed, as the alarms began to signal.

El, quickly pushing her lost focus to the side, looked up, and pulled the other piston off-track, stopping the other door before it could engage.

“Help me get her into the TARDIS!” The Doctor bellowed, grabbing his granddaughter at her shoulders. “Now!” He roared, causing River to jump and grab at Susan’s ankles.

“Doctor!” Cortana pointed at one of the fuses getting close to its end.

“Everybody in!” The Doctor ordered, throwing the doors to the TARDIS open.

John looked down at Korv one last time, before punching the alien in the face, and sprinting to enter the timeship behind the rest, slamming the doors behind him.

The Doctor and River sat Susan down on the floor, quickly scrambling to take off, as an explosion rocked the TARDIS.

“…We’re away.” The Doctor heaved, as the TARDIS stabilized. “We’re away…”

“G… Grand… father.” Susan croaked from the ground, causing the Doctor to rush over to her, crouching down next to the young Time Lady.

“Hey… Hey…” He gently grasped onto one of her hands. “I’m here, kiddo. I’m here.”

“Grandfather…” Susan repeated, as her face began to twist unpleasantly. “It hurts...”

“I know, I know…” He whispered in response. “Don’t worry, it’ll get better soon. I promise.”

“Doctor…” River gently crouched down next to him, holding a medical scanner. “The wounds are… fatal.”

“Should we…” Cortana quietly whispered to John. “Should we be here for this?”

“I don’t know…” John replied uncertainly. “But she saved El.”

“El…” The Doctor looked up from his granddaughter. “She has something she wants to say to you.”

The girl looked to John and Cortana, silently asking them for permission, and they both immediately nodded. Thus, El walked slowly, approaching the other two gathered around Susan’s form.

El came to an uncomfortable stop, standing over Susan’s form.

Susan looked up at El, with a smile. “Don’t worry… I’d do it again… In a hearts…” Susan trailed off, as she lost her breath, and her eyes closed.

“No…” El stepped back, disbelieving. “She… She can’t die…”

“Don’t worry…” The Doctor stood tall, stepping back slightly from his granddaughter, as River did the same.

“That was only her first life…” River looked down at Susan with a smile. “She has many, many more.”

And as if in response to that sentence, Susan began to glow a brilliant, shining gold, filling the console room with heat, and bathing all within in golden light.

El looked down, as her eyes refocused on Susan’s face, which was now glowing a pure white, as the Time Lady’s features began to twitch and contort.

“What’s… What’s happening?” Cortana breathlessly inquired, staring at the body.

“The Miracle of the Time Lords…” The Doctor theatrically replied, as the light seemed to reach its brightest. “Regeneration.”

Susan’s whole body seemed to undergo a metamorphosis in that moment, her short, brown hair lengthening past her neck, as her face itself began to reshape. Her face seemed to fill out slightly, as her pointed chin began to round off slightly.

The light emanating from Susan died down, and everyone took a step back as they beheld Susan’s new form.

“She…” El breathed in awe. “She looks like me…”

Indeed, even thrown off by the orange glow of the Time Rotor, it was obvious Susan was a near-identical copy of El, save for the hair, and the outward age difference.

“Last face that face saw…” The Doctor remarked with a slight, knowing smile. “Regeneration isn’t totally random, not for all of us. Some of us can influence it, in subtle ways, but if you’re really good at it… and have a certain person on the mind… You can choose.”

Susan began to stir, groaning as she forced her eyes open. “Oh, God… Why is everybody looking at me like that?” Her eyes darted around, as she looked up at everyone gathered around. “Is it that bad!? Quick, someone bring me a mirror!”

The Doctor chuckled, shaking his head as he bent over, offering a hand to her. Susan sat up, grabbing the Doctor’s hand, and her grandfather pulled her up.

Susan frowned, and began to sniff, her eyes closing. “Does anyone else smell that? Smells like… chips. Mmm…” She breathed. “I really want chips. Does anybody else want chips?” She questioned frantically. “Oh, you like in America, it’s fries there, isn’t it? Salty chips? Fish and chips? Steak and chips? Oh, we could get ice cream, dip them in that…”

“Susan, calm down. Breathe.” The Doctor instructed, gently steading his granddaughter by her shoulder.

“Right, calm.” Susan repeated, nodding a bit too enthusiastically. “…I still really want chips!”

The Doctor sighed. “River, take Susan to the galley and get her some chips, yeah?”

“Right.” River nodded.

“Great.” Susan smiled, breathing a bit too heavily for someone just standing. “…I think I’m going to stop standing up now.”

Susan’s eyes rolled back, as she toppled over, narrowly being caught by River.

“Oof.” River grunted, as she supported the deceptively heavy woman on her shoulder.

“Mummy, can we have Jammie Dodgers too?” Susan deliriously asked, the others watching as River led her off into one of the distant corridors of the seemingly infinite timeship.

“Is she going to be alright?” John questioned, as the voices faded.

“She’ll be fine.” The Doctor answered, turning back to the three left in the console room. “The first moments after a regeneration are always the hardest… It’s like you walk into the eye of a hurricane, out of the eye walks a stranger, and that stranger is you. But she has River and I to help her through it. Now…” The Doctor turned back to the console, as the ship began to land. “I think it’s time we get you lot back home. Had we’d been keeping up with time normally, it’d already be two A.M.”

“What about the spacecraft?” John inquired.

“Blew up in low orbit.” The Doctor answered. “Without proper shielding, whatever little is left is going to burn up upon reentry.”

“And the tainted fireworks?” Cortana questioned.

“Well, the only ones left are currently sitting in a police lockup courtesy of Chief Hopper, I bet.” The Doctor replied, as he walked the others to the TARDIS door. “Well,” He looked at the others. “I suppose this is goodbye.”

“Goodbye?” El repeated. “You can’t… come back?”

The Doctor smiled at her sadly. “I’m afraid not. The TARDIS isn’t meant to stay in other realities for long… But, I’ll tell you what,” The Doctor reached into his coat, pulling out a small scrap of paper, “You ever feel in over your heads, you give me a call, and I’ll come running.”

“You’d do that?” John asked, looking up from the phone number scrawled on the paper.

“Your daughter and my granddaughter share a face now,” The Doctor smiled kindly, “That practically makes us family.”

“Family…” El repeated, and a smile overtook her face. “Cool.”

“Yep!” The Doctor snapped a finger, pointing in her direction. “If anyone gives you trouble, tell ‘em Doctor Who’s your granddad. Now,” He clapped his hands, “I suppose this has to be it.”

“Right.” John nodded, shaking the Doctor’s hand. “Thank you.”

“It’s all in a day’s work.” The Doctor replied.

John returned it with a nod, as he opened the TARDIS doors, and he, El, and Cortana exited out, into the living room of their cabin. A moment later, the engines engaged, and the TARDIS vanished, leaving Hawkins, and that very reality, behind.

“…Dustin’s so not going to believe this.” El breathed excitedly.


	7. Epilogue

“Ah…” Susan yawned, as she walked up the stairs onto the platform supporting the control console.

The Doctor, was hunched over the console, playing about in the innards of one of the panels as the ship drifted aimlessly through space.

“Stabilized?” The Doctor asked, not looking up from his work.

“Yep!” Susan smiled. “What do you think?” She inquired, gesturing down at her new outfit.

The Doctor looked up, allowing him to see what she was talking about. “Hey, that’s one of my suits!” He blinked, recognizing the brown jacket with matching trousers, blue pinstripes running up both articles. It also looked like she’d chosen to forgo the button-up shirt and tie, simply wearing a white T-shirt underneath.

“I like it.” Susan crossed her new arms defensively. She frowned, brushing her longer hair out of the way. “Not too sure about the hair… It seems like it’d be a pain to deal with.”

“You’ll get used to it.” The Doctor replied kindly, as he closed up the panel. “Right, all done! So long as we don’t go flying into any more Vortex Storms, we should be fine. Where to next? We could go see the premiere of Avengers: Endgame, have tea with Cleopatra. Hmm... Shepard's been giving me grief about 'grandparental rights,' maybe we should-“

Susan let out another loud yawn, cutting the Doctor off. “I think the only place I want to be right now is my bed.”

The Doctor sighed theatrically, rolling his eyes. “Fine, I suppose we could wait until tomorrow.”

Susan smiled in response and hugged him.

“Um…” The Doctor awkwardly began. “What’s this for?”

“Hm… I think I might be a hugging person now.” Susan answered, releasing him. She looked him up and down one last time, before leaving the console room, no doubt going to her bedroom.

“Right, well…” The Doctor muttered to himself, turning back to the hexagonal console. “…I crushed their car, didn’t I? Hm…”

****

Cortana sighed, as she flopped down on the couch. “If we ever get caught up in something like that again… it’ll be too soon.”

“You’re being melodramatic.” John stated in response, sitting down next to her.

“Is it melodrama if I feel like I could crash at any moment?” Cortana asked in response, her head flopping back. Her breathing leveled out, as her eyes closed, and for a moment, it looked like she was ready to drift off.

Until a scream came from El’s room.

In an instant, both adults shot to their feet, running over to El’s door, and pushing it open.

Standing there, the most excitedly either of them had ever seen her, was El, bouncing up and down giddly.

“God Jesus…” Cortana clutched her chest. “You damn near gave me a heart attack!”

“Sorry!” El quickly apologized. “But look!” She pointed excitedly over at her bed.

John’s eyebrows furrowed, as he looked at the device sitting there. “A… Blu-Ray player?”

“And a screen!” El continued. “And these!” She pointed over to her dresser, upon which set a collection of boxsets of Doctor Who episodes from the First Doctor… all the way to the Eleventh. “I don’t have to wait for the next season, I can start now!”

“That’s… great.” John cluelessly offered in response.

“And then there’s this!” She squealed, running over to her closet. She threw the door open, and sitting there on a hangar, in front of every other article of clothing, was a patchwork multicolor coat, a dark brown, orange, and purple waistcoat tucked inside. A shirt with question marks embroidered on the collar had a blue polka-dotted cravat tied around the neck, with a pair of striped yellow trousers hanging off the bottom.

“What… the hell… is that?” Cortana questioned, taking in the gaudy article of clothing.

“It’s his!” El jumped up and down. “The Doctor’s! The real one!”

“Well, shit…” Cortana muttered to herself. “There goes her fashion sense…”

“He left all this for you?” John questioned, feeling a bit put off.

“It’s an apology!” El recognized and explained. “For the car!”

“…He should’ve gotten us a car then.” Cortana blinked.

“He did!” El said, running over to John, slamming a key down in his hand.

“Um…” Cortana frowned, looking at they key. “Does that say Jaguar?”


End file.
